so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
