the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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