I accidentally had phone sex last night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
