Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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