somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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