my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
