Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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