i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
