Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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