I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
