I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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