Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
