I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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