I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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