I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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