The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
