Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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