I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
