we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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