dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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