genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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