Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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