I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
