im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
