As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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