So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
