Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
