No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
