White coat. Heels.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
