just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
