I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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