got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
