i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
