White coat. Heels.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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