dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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