OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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