I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
