guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
