Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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