Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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