Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We have so much sex to catch up on
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
