Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
