did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
