Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this just has baby written all over it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
