the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No subtext here. People are naked.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
