Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you made out with another girl for some wings
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
