i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
