i just had sex bonerless
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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