GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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