do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
