i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You left your phone here
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